TV Channels are going to town announcing that Osama and members of his family were killed at a location outside Islamabad and more and more channels are jumping onto the bandwagon.

I am however a hardened sceptic. Too many doctored reports, tapes and audio bytes have left me a cynical and doubting Thomas. So I did what I always do when confused. I went for a drive. And that took me to the Punjagutta mosque. And as luck would have it, the first person I saw coming out after prayers was the big ‘O’ himself. Yes, he is alive and kicking and watering the petunias.

How do I know it is the genuine article? Because HE said so himself. I greeted him with the normal ‘assalaam-waalekum’ and he replied ‘Osaama-bin-laaden’.

Worried that our conversation was getting recorded, I beat a hasty retreat but not before Osaama waved me a cheery goodbye which I fear has been picked up by the satellites that are keeping track of me ever since I reported to the police that I had spotted Adolf Hitler in Narayanguda.