Do you get wet dreams when you see these mannequins? Do you think your desire to rape increases when you see these scantily clad bodies? Do you fantasize that your dream girl looks anything like the mannequins?

No! Okay, I believe you.

But looks like the Government of Maharashtra (or at least some of its Babus) doesn’t. In a country where even a kid knows that the role models for most men are the filmy types, the colorfully dressed, embarrassingly well endowed, bursting at the seams blouses type… Where any ‘bachcha’ knows that only a naughty looking Madhuri Dixit perhaps in the north, or a saucy Silk Smita in the south is capable of raising eyebrows and much else. In a country where the male idea of fantasizing is dictated by ‘parees’ who are divine or by ‘sakhis’ who are flirtatious, how difficult is it to understand that 99.999% of the male population that looks at mannequins in lingerie only laughs at their sight, or if more naïve, giggles.

And the same goes for the Indian Woman. Seeing a tight butt or a swollen ego does not turn her on as perhaps it does her Western counterpart. Indian women have been known to fall for eyes, for a voice, for character, for a style…even for money and power…but not often for a six pack or a hairy chest.

That is a domain reserved for their urban sisters who may think gym shaped bodies are seductive. And lap up the musky fragrance of treadmill exertions.

So what exactly is this whole Mannequin Ban about?

It doesn’t take a genius to understand that a mannequin wearing lingerie is there to give a woman a feel of what she can or will look like if she wears the product. Its nameless, faceless character makes it adaptable to any woman…and is seen as only a step higher than hanging a shirt on a hangar. Or is someone already planning to ban hangars as well?

It doesn’t take much to figure out that the lowly mannequin serves as a kind of an instruction guide for a lot of the women who have only just graduated from mere bars and panties to lingerie.

So should mannequins be banned from displaying lingerie? Well, sarees are okay, salwar suits are fine but the moment a normal Indian male spots a mannequin dressed in little else but her underclothes, his hormones revolt. Adrenalin pumps up his heart and knocks sense out of his system.

Similarly when a woman of Indian origin spots a mannequin in the shop window wearing a Y-Front or a Jockstrap, she blushes…her blood rushes to her brain…and she sees stars.

Is that what our government thinks of us? That we are sex starved people who look at comic book Savita Bhabis for adulation and mannequins for inspiration.

I don’t know about you but I know for a fact that most of the women I know find it ridiculous that the Government is resorting to such cheap, inane and unnecessary gimmicks.

Seriously? Stop mannequins from showing off lingerie and the rape frequency in India will come down!!! Is that even statistically possible?

Unless the whole thing is a master plan by a pervert to go around the city examining mannequins in lingerie and getting his jollies at Government expense. Who knows? Stranger fetishes have been adopted by Government servants