The last few weeks I have been listening to a Radio Campaign where the narrator is in tears. He wants to give up on dance or rather he wants to do the ‘Tandav’ somewhere. And he is in tears. All because Royal Stag will not be seen in the market after a week. So long, farewell and all that.

The last few months we have been facing an artificial shortage of Old Monk Rum. For a while, some quarters were available, but now even they are rare. Many of us who were weaned on what we called ‘Mother’s Milk’ have been cribbing and crying. Lamenting that while our friends in Andhra get their ‘Buddah’ we Telanganites have to learn to live with the absence of Old Monk. XXX.

This is an unfair state of affairs. One that we regret. Mostly because we seem to have bought these troubles on to ourselves. But suicide?

I now hear that there are a lot of people planning suicide because Royal Stag is being taken off the market. Or because Old Monk is being denied to them.

While I do understand the sentiment, I think we are contemplating extreme measures. Even as I speak, it has come to light that Royal Stag is just going in for a cosmetic change. And the whole ‘Oh My God – they’re taking it off the market’ campaign was just a childish ‘scampaign’.

Old Monk Rum is doing very well, thank you. And it is not available because of problems between the authorities and the manufacturers.

A little concerted effort from consumers and loyalists should see the issue being resolved.

Anyway what is all this nonsense about suicide?

If what you drink is not available, change your brand. Or change yourself. Worse comes to worst, give up drinking. But suicide? Naaaah. That’s a mug’s game.

And for duck’s sake, grow up. Step up the value chain. Royal Stag!!! That’s so middle class anyway.

And Old Monk?

Yes. That is indeed a problem. While I am trying to influence the Government to rethink their stance on this ‘teertham’, I am also sending subtle messages to my friends coming from Andhra or Bangalore to carry back some of the good stuff.

Cheers!!!