They come into power by hook or crook. Okay, mainly by crook. And once they are in power, they hold on to their seats like Quickfix or Fevicol, whichever you think is more effective.

While in power they refine every corrupt practice into a fine art. And learn the meticulous science of making a lot of noise but achieving nothing.

Their fraternity is a cohesive and closely guarded one. And whatever differences they may have between themselves, they are always united when it comes to voting themselves some favours or perks.

Like an increase in pay. Or a subsidised lunch. Travel. Even life long benefits like Security. Pension.

They are the Peoples’ Persons. But they are actually ‘only a few people’s persons’. Common Good is an uncommon trait. And self service is the only thing they learnt from the Udipi.

The only thorn in their flesh is the bureaucrat. Typically the IAS Officer who technically reports to them as Political Master, but often finds an objection or two to the short cuts they try to take.

And that is because most of them are uneducated. I can’t say illiterate because some of them even know how to sign their name. But they are uneducated about things other than life. For instance rules, regulations, laws, systems, procedures, etiquette and what have you.

And look at the irony. Keeping them in power is the single most significant waste of budgeted expenditure that the Government is doomed to incur. Every time. Ever since Independence. And every time the country or the state or the district indulges in that farcical experiment called Democratic Elections.

They spit stains onto the wall as easily as they paint the sidewalk. They bully with the help of their light fixtures and sirens. They embarrass us with their boorish and crude behavior. Oh they are actually insufferable.

But they are the price we are paying for democracy.

Does that mean we cannot do anything to improve the situation? Improve them?

Let’s moot the idea of a National Institute of Political Training. Let there be entrance exams held every year on a national level. The successful candidates should go through a course that can be loosely termed as 3+2. Three years to graduate. Two to master.

And on successful completion of their course they become members of the IPS.

The Indian Political Service.

Trained in the South Block. Exposed to the parliaments of the world. Expert Fund Transferers. The whole package.

And Elections. Only IPS officials are allowed to stand for elections.

I think this can raise the standards of our system and thereby our whole country. What do you think?