The string of Prime Ministers we’ve had…some of milky complexion, others of feminine grace, some who got blown out of life, yet others who got blown out of proportion. Each one did something significant, something that had a lasting impact on the country and its fortunes, but each was found wanting in some sphere or the other and more often than not, suffered at the elections after the honeymoon period was over.

That Milky White innocence has no place in society today is clearly understood. Nor should we choose between the sophistication of coffee and the street savvy of chai. Methinks what we should be looking for is a Daruwalla.

Let’s face it. A man (or woman) who has the occasional drink without hesitation is the most moderate specimen around. He (for the sake of convenience I will avoid repeating the ‘he/she’ option) is balanced. He has a good head on his shoulders. He knows the value of being sober and also the thrill of being slightly buzzed. He can empathize with the majority of the population and he is likely to be someone the whole society (or most of it) looks up to.

He is invariably a leader with a mass following essentially because he is the only one who doesn’t just distribute beer and biryani, he shares it with his tribe.

Now how many people can we find who qualify for this?

My personal favourite already crowned himself the King of Good Times but then he is persona non grata and a possible convict in the near future. Another erudite gentleman who sparked off a collaboration between twitter and the thesaurus has a possible murderous streak in him. The other qualifier can’t unfortunately be considered due to sciontific reasons…and he is ‘jointly’ suspected of some Colombian Connections.

So what does that leave us with? Not very much I am afraid. So I have a suggestion.

Henceforth elections should only be held in licensed bars. Only drinkers should be allowed to vote. And any candidate has to pass the 3 Peg or 3 Bottle Test.

What we stand to get from this kind of election is a leader who is as close to normal as should be. Someone we can chat up with over a drink or two while munching on some casually fried masala cashewnuts.

Any suggestions?