I have a problem with lyrics.

There. I’ve confessed.

I also have a problem with lines. But that is universally known, so I don’t need to talk about that too much.

Lyrics however, are a whole different ball-game. I not only can’t remember them, I don’t even get them right. Not the first time, nor the second…you get the drift.

And that is where the fact that I am a writer of sorts comes to the rescue. Even if I don’t remember the words…and I am pretty bad at holding a tune…I make up my words as I go along. And yes, I do it to the metre.

So while I have under my belt quite a few songs I have written and gotten composed, I have a declared fear of lyrics.

Perhaps the only song that I remember in full is the National Anthem…and even that…I am not too sure when I sang it last, so let that ride for now…

Most of these memory based predicaments have resulted in social embarrassments more often than I’d care to remember. But the song that got me into trouble and the song that I’ll never forget is Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond.

A wonderful song, full of soul…and passion. And one that was a favourite on the dance floor, especially when we used to gear up for the slow dances

But this song, I first heard in a restaurant called O’Papa’s…part of the Queen’s Hotel in Chennai. And the resident band was someone called the Avengers (I think).

Thanks to the band leader’s cousin who was a college mate, we got to know the guys in the band very well. And we knew the songs they loved.

Bruce loved to sing “Who Shot the Sheriff”. Sanjan loved Sweet Caroline.

Except that he always added something that was amazing. While the actual lyrics were…

Hands, touching hands
Reaching out, touching me, touching you

Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good

and there was a musical gap after Caroline…and Sanjan would always sing…

Sweet Caroline…Swing on Mine…

And I…poor little innocent me…believed that Sanjan knew best. And those are the words that were committed to memory.

Now…at this stage of the story…we need to jump a few decades and come to a scene where I, with the help of a fair amount of liquor, discovered that I had, on occasion, the guts to karaoke,

And yes, one of the first requests I had was Sweet Caroline. I imagined I was Neil Diamond…I showed off my voice…my mastery of it…

and then came Sweet Caroline…and I piped up in tune…Swing on mine…

The old people who were witness to my coming of age had to be physically restrained from beating me up…I mean, really…Sweet Caroline…Swing on Mine???

I still don’t attempt to sing this song. Because I am scared that I’ll belt out “Swing on Mine” with gusto.

And you know who’ll swing after that…