…but before the details, just a few questions.

Am I the only prude left? Am I the only one who has forgotten about what Hyderabadi Humour used to be? Am I the only idiot who thinks subtlety has a place in the theatre of Moghalpura?

And are they paying Suzanne Patel enough to compensate her for the advertising and promotion of some plays that she is doing, seemingly at the cost of her natural dignity and class in terms of acting?

At Lamakaan tonight the audience was to me a shocking revelation. They were actually laughing out loud for the crudest of reasons. There was a gentleman in drag who was trying to pass off as a randy old doe (female goat). And that was only the beginning. She obviously enjoyed her sessions in the loo because all her thoughts and actions seemed to be loo-centric.

There is no point describing the other characters. A Salman Khan wannabe who thankfully did not try and strip. An Elvis Presley look alike who dance stepped the play into disaster. Oh man, the collection was exquisite and the audience…

Well, if the audience was cheering because they were friends of the cast, then good for them. They are really and truly good friends. If they were laughing and cheering because they actually enjoyed the play, I think we should see how we can attract a more appropriate audience.

And also someone should gather up enough common sense to tell the cast that the cast party is normally AFTER the play…tonight looked like the party began much before the performance…and I wouldn’t have been surprised if they took a curtain call to start the play. So arrogant, so casual and so utterly disorganized they were. Damn. And double Damn.

Hyderabadi humour has a lot to do with ‘nazakath’ and ’tehjeeb’. It is a twinge, a gentle pull, not a yank of the flush chain in an Indian Railway Toilet. This play had all the subtlety of a hundred ton bulldozer and all the sensitivity of a rhino on a rampage.

Many years ago a film actor called Mehmood single handedly made Hyderabad and Hyderabadis the butt of ridicule and almost caricatured us into oblivion. Maybe we got a fresh lease of life with the Laughter Challenge series. But this…this blasphemy demands that the people behind it should be rendered comatose for a few generations.

Just so that civic society has time enough to change the local laws to make sure such performances are punishable by death…and that too, a long, painful death…perhaps making them watch a video recording of the play tonight should do the trick.

As for me, I was but an innocent bystander…I managed to escape by the skin of my teeth. I had to ditch my attempts at discretion. I am too big, too loud, too clumsy…and front row seats courtesy of Suzanne are not designed for safe ejection in the event of a crash.

There is a lot of scope in Hyderabadi Theatre…more so in Hyderabadi Humour. One evening with groups like Koshish (COVA) should prove that…they won not just prizes, but a million hearts at Dramanon’s SKITS last year.

And Suzanne, you are too precious, too classy to allow yourself to get dragged down into this drain forest. Please allow Hyderabadi Humour to rest if we cannot respect it.

(The opinions of this blog are mine and mine alone. If they have been caused due to my ignorance or half knowledge I invite anyone qualified to correct me, and I will, I promise tender an apology forthwith).

And oh yes, before you jump to conclusions…I have nothing against Latrines…I am sure even they don’t want to get dragged into this shit.