Somewhere in Space

Imagine having two of the most reputed chefs in Ancient History and Mythology cooking up a range of delicacies for you.

Presenting Nala and Bheema at your command! In a whole new restaurant called nala bhimas’ next to the TV5 office opposite the Chiranjeevi Blood Bank in Jubilee Hills, Hyderabad.

So what do you expect from an outlet that promises mouth watering Indian fare and speaks with a South Indian accent? Well, to cater to a quintessential Hyderabadi taste, the least you’d expect is a delicious Andhra spread, a competent Rayalaseema repertoire,  a generous sampling of Telangana preparations and a lovely local touch. The restaurant does not disappoint. In fact it takes a few additional steps to include some basic Chinese and some popular continental dishes as well.

When asked why, the Management and the Chef explain that they have often seen groups of friends coming out for a meal…most of them like South Indian cuisine in general, but there are always one or two friends who want something different. So a Fish’n Chips, a Noodle, a Chopsuey or a Fried Rice can always rescue the party.

Interesting? Thoughtful? I definitely thought so as I remembered a very contrasting experience where we had gone for dinner at an exclusive Chinese Restaurant and had among our very drunk friends, one guest who insisted on Curd Rice after the meal.

And got it without a problem.

But the main body of nala bhimas’ is as well fried as a andhra ‘vepudu’, as rustic as a rayalaseema ‘rotte’ and as tasty as a telangana ‘talimpu’. All the usual suspects are present and lined up. From the Ulavacharu Pulaos to the Gongura Mutton varieties of the same delicacy. And to the standard Biryani fare.

Add to the package a host of traditional preparations that cook up fish, prawns, mutton, chicken and vegetables into a mouth watering range of must haves and you easily find that Hyderabad now has yet another address that offers a fascinating culinary tour of the state.

But what may take you by surprise are the innovative combos that you can opt for…a variety of dosas as different as Ragi and Jawari…with something as basic as a Garlic Tomato Melt or something as exotic as a river fish ‘pulusu’. A Tollywood Celebrity apparently discovered a Jonna Dosa and Paya combination that he swears by. Not that I get enamoured by these celebrity testimonials, but at least it is better than the other gentleman who has a steamed Dosa named after him.

Another interesting innovation is the Vegetarian Liver Fry. While it sounds like an opposition of thoughts, the starter is really nice. Looks and tastes like the Liver Fry that the ‘carnivores’ amongst us like, but made strictly with vegetables and a very different masala.

Mention must be made of the ambience at nala bhimas’ which is all about rich and subtle, elegant and spacious. The private dining room is comfortably large and there are enough sections in the restaurant to offer some level of discretion.

All in all, an option that Hyderabad should welcome with a smile and a satisfied burp. And a genuine ‘feel good’ factor contributed by a management initiative that sees the restaurant donationg 2% of every bill to a designated charity.

At the end, do come to nala bhimas’…it may not be a Maha Bharat cuisine in totality, but it does reach the places that matter. The heart!

Bringing life into a dead man’s role is not easy. But Saharssh Bubna rose to the occasion. As the dead Vikram Khanna he teamed up with his spiritual guru Khan to bring the stage alive at Lamakaan this evening.

It was a Taher directed play and an Octopus production. And before I say anything else I think Taher, Rahul and Sadiq, the Producer  should take a bow and receive the well earned applause.

So there are two people Geeta and Rohan…Unnati and Nikhil…widowed mother and harassed son. Unnati in a unique ‘I am ignoring my husband simply because I can’t see him’ kind of a role excelled. She was natural and poised. Her acting was very fluid. And the way she played disdainfully with her ever slipping dupatta was a delight to watch

Nikhil…Rohan was a young confused kid who was shutting out the outer world with a pair of headphones. The role that demanded that he dress down a bit, and act a bit weird could so easily have gone to the other side of slapstick…but it is Nikhil we are talking about. A controlled performance was what he had in mind, and that is what we got. Kudos.

Similarly Lilly could have been a ‘just walk on’ character. But Hyma Varshini had other ideas. She breezed in and breezed out and even though she got her laughs for Lilly, don’t be Silly…she did well to give her role meaning.

Sameer was one character who let me down a bit. Kreash Raj is a talented young fellow and I may have expected too much. He was adequate, but that is not a comfort zone for people like him. The role could have been grasped a little tighter, the ownership of character could have been better. Especially because he has two entries…once as a suave playboy…and the second time, as a conman par excellence…and the bullied sister of the Queen Con. I have a feeling that the next time this play is put up…Ravindra Bharati I hear…Sameer will distinguish effectively between his two dimensions.

Deepa Joshi…oh Deepa…what a transformation. Her tantric con woman act was all about presence…about voice modulation and gallery performances. And she came through in all departments. Was a delight when she was conning, better when she was scared of the paranormal…and missed when she left in a hurry.

Sherin Bhat joined the Aam Aadmi Party and broomed around the stage with her effervescent smile. And made sure that no one could say “Munni badnaam hui”.

All in all, a wonderful evening at Lamakaan. Thank God the plastic sheet on top of the audience remained an unused prop. And bar a couple of audio disturbances and a couple of flickers of the lights…tech was near perfect. Well done guys…looking forward to more.

And if there is anyone out there who thinks I am writing a positive review just because they gave me a free ticket…if you are so thinking after seeing the play, do drop by at Lamakaan tomorrow after 4 pm. I will personally come there and kick you into submission.

And for those of you who couldn’t make it, don’t miss the next time.

Cheers.

…but before the details, just a few questions.

Am I the only prude left? Am I the only one who has forgotten about what Hyderabadi Humour used to be? Am I the only idiot who thinks subtlety has a place in the theatre of Moghalpura?

And are they paying Suzanne Patel enough to compensate her for the advertising and promotion of some plays that she is doing, seemingly at the cost of her natural dignity and class in terms of acting?

At Lamakaan tonight the audience was to me a shocking revelation. They were actually laughing out loud for the crudest of reasons. There was a gentleman in drag who was trying to pass off as a randy old doe (female goat). And that was only the beginning. She obviously enjoyed her sessions in the loo because all her thoughts and actions seemed to be loo-centric.

There is no point describing the other characters. A Salman Khan wannabe who thankfully did not try and strip. An Elvis Presley look alike who dance stepped the play into disaster. Oh man, the collection was exquisite and the audience…

Well, if the audience was cheering because they were friends of the cast, then good for them. They are really and truly good friends. If they were laughing and cheering because they actually enjoyed the play, I think we should see how we can attract a more appropriate audience.

And also someone should gather up enough common sense to tell the cast that the cast party is normally AFTER the play…tonight looked like the party began much before the performance…and I wouldn’t have been surprised if they took a curtain call to start the play. So arrogant, so casual and so utterly disorganized they were. Damn. And double Damn.

Hyderabadi humour has a lot to do with ‘nazakath’ and ’tehjeeb’. It is a twinge, a gentle pull, not a yank of the flush chain in an Indian Railway Toilet. This play had all the subtlety of a hundred ton bulldozer and all the sensitivity of a rhino on a rampage.

Many years ago a film actor called Mehmood single handedly made Hyderabad and Hyderabadis the butt of ridicule and almost caricatured us into oblivion. Maybe we got a fresh lease of life with the Laughter Challenge series. But this…this blasphemy demands that the people behind it should be rendered comatose for a few generations.

Just so that civic society has time enough to change the local laws to make sure such performances are punishable by death…and that too, a long, painful death…perhaps making them watch a video recording of the play tonight should do the trick.

As for me, I was but an innocent bystander…I managed to escape by the skin of my teeth. I had to ditch my attempts at discretion. I am too big, too loud, too clumsy…and front row seats courtesy of Suzanne are not designed for safe ejection in the event of a crash.

There is a lot of scope in Hyderabadi Theatre…more so in Hyderabadi Humour. One evening with groups like Koshish (COVA) should prove that…they won not just prizes, but a million hearts at Dramanon’s SKITS last year.

And Suzanne, you are too precious, too classy to allow yourself to get dragged down into this drain forest. Please allow Hyderabadi Humour to rest if we cannot respect it.

(The opinions of this blog are mine and mine alone. If they have been caused due to my ignorance or half knowledge I invite anyone qualified to correct me, and I will, I promise tender an apology forthwith).

And oh yes, before you jump to conclusions…I have nothing against Latrines…I am sure even they don’t want to get dragged into this shit.

I am afraid I cannot remember how we used to drink water in Swarna School or St. Lawrence School in Calcutta. Possibly we used to carry those horrendous plastic water bottles. But I think the first time I came across a series of taps for us to go at will and drink without intermediaries like filters etc. was at St. George’s Boys Grammar School, Hyderabad.

It was a small cluster of push-up taps, almost a quiet aside in a blockbuster play. But willy-nilly most of us boys would congregate here at sometime or the other. Friendly confabulations and silly fights took place at this watering hole. Also, many were the boys who were caned by the late Terence Gardner (Tiyaan) who would catch their misdemeanours while he was in ‘Roaming’ mode. Yes, we used this phrase much before Idea and the rest.

I will always remember this place for my several scuffles with classmates and contemporaries who decided that my new found need to wear spectacles had to be recognized by my being teased and taunted with a choice Hyderabadi ‘Chaar Khandeel’. Strange, I took my ‘Motu’ jibes with equanimity but got riled at the ‘four eyes’ reference.

HPS, by its very nature and by its being spread over 500 acres of land did not foster any permanent ‘addas’ as such. Each group used to have its own little nook or corner depending on its interests and numbers.

But when I got to Loyola College, we found a round traffic island near the hostel that became our ‘adda’ by night and the college car park became our haunt by day. And many a friendship (and possibility an enmity or two) were born in these places.

During college, especially on holidays in Hyderabad, we discovered our very own Irani Hotels…Cafes. Tehran was a favourite. Hill Top was privileged to have us as regulars. Mohini treated as regulars. And so did My Friends at Masab Tank.

With age and maturity and the ability to pay our hangouts became fancier. With increased mobility and extended timelines they became more dispersed. And with a family in tow, they also became social…i.e. clubs were fine but Irani Cafes were frowned upon. Inspite of that I took my wife many a time to Tehran for chai biskoot…

But my mind today is not travelling through the various spots that we adopted at different times in my life to ‘adda’…it’s only wondering about the sheer innocence of drinking water straight from the tap…and innocence lost.

Oh where are the tube wells we used to pump on our outdoor shoots, drink water thirstily…and even bathe with the water sometimes…where are those days when we used to walk into small wayside restaurants and cafes and ask for a glass of water without hesitation…and when did Mineral Water enter our lives?

Where are the pots…the koojas…and when did our surroundings have to accommodate filters, refrigerators and pure water dispensers…

Saala, paani peeney ka mazaa he alag tha…

One of the disadvantages of being the son of a nomadic Government Official who had been posted in all the corners of the country was that when we finally settled into our home state, it was with a cursory knowledge of the fabric of the various sub-societies that make up a civilization.

For example, only when they asked me in Bombay when I was working there, why I was not a Reddy or a Rao when I was ostensibly a Telugu fellow, did I realise that public perception was rather narrow. And only after Satyam Computers became famous did the world realise that the Rajus too were part of a Telugu canvas.

I found that it was too late for me to distinguish between East Godavari accents and West Godavari practices, Telangana Reddys (or should it be Reddies) and Nellore Reddys. Reddys who were converted Christians and those who were Reddy Doras.

It was while I was studying in Madras that I first came across the term Telungu…it’s a peculiarity of the Tamilian who can’t say Mohan but thinks he can when he says Mogan…he can’t or won’t say Telugu…for some obscure reason a little ‘N’ slips in between and he invariably refers to our language as the Telungu Language.

I had of course read up my history and knew the etymological connection between the Tri-Lingas (the three Shiva Idols), Telangana and the Telugu People.

Today as Telangana becomes the 29th State of Independent India, I feel humbled and wonder how I can contribute to it. I have already helped its cause by speaking for it in my capacity as a mature voice that delivers reason and rationale in a certain style. Also in a few debates I have tried to present a perspective. But the desire to do something more serious and more lasting is, if you’ll forgive my creative urges, to be expected at my age.

So what can I do? What am I equipped to do?

My domain is advertising, branding and digital media. Offering advisory services to corporate Telangana is too crass for my liking. I do not want to join the list of people who are converting the birth of a new state into a blatant business opportunity.

No. I want to do something different. A little more selfless. And I am glad to say that I think I finally have the idea. Coincidentally on the very day that Telangana was born…or shall I say Reborn.

As I told you, because of my childhood having been spent in other parts of the country, my knowledge of the Telugu system is a classic case of near ignorance.

It took me quite some time to realise that there was a caste system prevailing. That Kammas and Kaapus could be confrontational. That the Rajus and Chowdharies were of a different breed. And that Raos were from anywhere and that Gandhis and Boses were possibly from Vijayawada. Of course, to find that Stalin was a Telugu fellow like me was a bit of a surprise.

But the most complicated was the hierarchy that the Reddy community represented. I have over the years met several kinds of Reddy gentlemen who told me how they were ‘superior’ to the other fellows.

Oh…that guy is a Mud Reddy! Or he is a converted Christian Reddy. Or he is after all a Rayalaseema Reddy. And so on and so forth.

While this not so subtle distinction may be convenient for a few egos, I think Telangana offers a unique opportunity to the Reddy families of the new state. A chance to rebrand themselves. And distinguish them permanently from the others.

My suggestion is that all the Reddy people of Telangana state immediately decide to rechristen themselves as…

wait for it…

and here it comes…as…

TELREDDYs !!!

Never before has the Reddy surname reflected such unity, such power, such uniqueness.

What are you?

I am a Telreddy.

Wow!!! I like the sound of that already.