Ever since India shot to fame with protests that used everything from non violence to silence as a tool, this country has been the accepted pioneer in the field.

But like in everything else a certain fatigue had set in and dandi style marches and ‘mauna vratams’ (vows of silence) were not making any kind of impact. Even the much touted Comfort March of a late Chief Minister’s son (where instead of being the son receiving the condolences of an adoring crowd, he became the comforter who went door to door meeting families of people whose fathers and husbands had committed suicide on hearing about his father’s demise) failed to shake the pages of history from their indifferent slumber.

It was against this backdrop that a few advertising agencies were called for a major brainstorming session with key leaders of the separate Telangana movement.

Corruption as a point of protest has been removed from the equation, thanks to a retired Jawan’s call to the people. Even a gymnast living in the guise of a yogic had usurped the unique protest platform.

So what can we do different, thundered the man with the elongated nose. Just as he ordered the next round of biryani to be washed down with his favourite tipple.

That is definitely ‘food for thought’ his son and heir apparent mumbled.

And before you could say Jai Telangana a new form of protest was born. We will set up kitchens on every street corner and cook our wonderful Telangana meals. This will be to protest the gross injustice meted out to the noble cause of Telangana, agreed all the high brow leaders as they downed scotch after adulterated scotch.

Just as the mood was hitting the high decibels, one creative person from the agency tried to play devil’s advocate and pointed out that this form of protest had no extension possibilities. That sparked off its own chain of protest and debate.

Let us, said a wise one, plan for some alternatives. If this form of protest doesn’t achieve the desired results, what else can we do?

Can we for instance sponsor a Pee-a-thon? Where hundreds and thousands of volunteers can be lined up and pee into the Hussain Sagar or the KBR Park or some other landmark?

Or do you think a Kiss-a-thon will be more effective? Volunteers at every street corner kissing with wild abandon and stopping traffic, disturbing the peace and so on?

The suggestions flew fast and furiously. And only the nod of the sage head punctuated the proceedings. Then suddenly a wise old Guru of Advertising got up from his swivel chair. Shaky but slowly steady he waited for all the hub-bub to subside and then rounded off the meeting thus…

Let’s see how the street food carnival works as a form of protest. Let’s see how many people shift their loyalties from their regular bandis and addas and decide to favour us with their business. Then and only then should we take a call.

And if that doesn’t work as expected, let us try a literal clean up operation. Let us organise street side dhobis washing clothes at every street corner and making a god awful mess of the roads. That will be a truly innovative form of protest. Do this or I shall wash my clothes.

Everyone agreed that this was a brilliant idea.

Nobody looked at the poor flunkey who had one basic question. Where do we get so many dhobis…and where do we get so much water?

The ideation process is still on. If interested, please address your suggestions to the Pink Elephant…he sits in a palace that will make you see stars.