Chaltoon Sahab. Lekin kaunsa Paradise? Secunderabad? Masab Tank? Hitec City, NTR Gardens, Kukatpally, Begumpet, Kothapet ya woh naya  Gachibowliwalla Paradise ya Himayatnagarwalla?

Blasphemy I tell you. There is only one Paradise. And that is in Secunderabad. Next to Paradise Cinema. At the Paradise Cross Road. Everyone knows that Paradise. Where did all these Me-Too Paradises spring up from and when?

What the hell is happening?

Even God manages with just one Paradise. So who are we humans to demand or accept multiple Paradises?

Bad enough that it took Hyderabadis quite a few years for them to understand that there was a difference between the Taj Mahal Hotel and The Taj. I suppose it all started with the Taj Mahal Group deciding to open branches in Koti, Abids, Narayanaguda, Secunderabad and now Jubilee Hills. And then the Taj Group of Hotels confused everybody with Taj Krishna, Taj Deccan, Taj Residency, Vivanta by Taj, Taj Falaknuma and so on.

Thank God Shah Jehan is no more. He would have died keeping up with the number of Tajs’ in Hyderabad alone. I mean love with Mumtaj Mahal is fine, but too many Tajs spoil the T…if you know what I mean.

Whatever happened to the days when a Restaurant, even a clothes store, would put up a board saying “Babai Hotel:No Branches in India”.

There was a sanctity to eating at the one place, buying stuff at one one-of-a-kind shop. Bloody hell you can now buy Karachi Biscuits at some three or four locations in Hyderabad alone. More than the sheer audacity of it all, it’s bloody confusing for everyone from Tom Jones to Google Maps. the number of options popping up when you key in a word like Paradise is insane.

Strange. I can live with the idea of several Apollo Pharmacies, several Batas and as many Café Coffee Days as you can think of. But Paradise???

It’s not just a restaurant. It’s a legend. Bloody hell, it’s a landmark. And I don’t think they have the liberty to throw that name around.

They’re asking for trouble. Just watch and see. Within a few days people will be commenting…yeah, there’s a Paradise in Himayathnagar. But the biryani at Secunderabad is the best. Only that is authentic. And so on.

And before you know it, the Brand Paradise will be a hollow promise of yesteryear glory. And even though I personally am not a big fan of their biryanis, I am an admirer of their brand equity and their architectural skills (the way the original Paradise expanded is a study in innovation).

So please. PLEASE. Stop with this branchifying. I think the city is confused enough already with two-two Chief Ministers. Let’s not strain the average Hyderabadi brain with puzzling questions to innocent Autowallas – Paradise Chaltey kya? And the poor fellow has to look up a map to figure out where you really want to go.