Just a couple of days before GURU POORNIMA, Sunday School conducted two examinations for the world at large. And the one question that stumped most of the people was a multiple choice question which chose to interrogate people as follows:-

On Sunday the 14^th of July, how did you spend your day?

All those of you who ticked the last option, take a bow and buy yourself a beer. You are that part of the world that did not suffer from pains in the neck on Monday, nor did you have ethical, emotional and extreme reactions to the silliest of occupations. And your nails are intact.

Why do I say that? Am I sounding too cynical? Well, walk with me…

Take the classic Federer / Djokovic confrontation on grass. The first is an 8 time champ and the other is a 5 timer. I mean, we’ve all seen the best they have to offer. And since we could not swing Center Court passes, we were condemned to stiff neck viewing.

Because it is a well known fact that people watching tennis go through a few hours of ‘look-left-look-right’ experience unless they’re watching the match on a television or even a mobile screen. Given that the human eye can take in the TV or Mobile inches into one glance, it means that viewers are doomed to a straight line viewing with no foreseeable reason to crane their necks.

Boring…right!

Now the Royal confrontation between the ancient rulers and their once-upon-a-time Colony was a game riddled by heart and mind conflicts, misinterpretations of fair play and was played on the sorrows of a billion Indian cry-baby souls.

What was SUPER about the last over I ask you? A comedy of errors? Since when did Shakespeare replace Sachin on the pitch? And since when did the iambic pentameter dictate the pace of the pitch?

No. While I admire and support those who step out on a Sunday afternoon in their hastily found whites to play cricket with the neighbors, I find the ‘weight and watch’ gang to be a bit tiresome.

Spending the whole day watching players go through their limited repertoire of 0, 1s, 2s, 4s and even 6s before being sent back by an LBW, or by a catch or a run-out or God forbid, a clean bowled is not my idea of fun. There’s so much more that the world has to offer.

For example, and just in case you’re one of those nit-pickers who insist on starting off alphabetically, there is B for Beer. How could anyone choose a game over a glug?

But there is one category of people who dither. Unable to decide on which game to follow, they make a hobby of surfing the television waves. Five minutes of Cricket and five minutes of Tennis. Repeat Ad Nauseum. Now, for these undecided fellows, here’s news…

Neither the Cricket Ball nor the Tennis Ball is something you should aspire to be. You get pushed around in both cases, get smashed in both cases and the silly rules often dictate that you are often out of line.

So unless you ticked on the last option, consider yourself as a failed candidate. What you believe is Life is anything but.

But relax. All is not lost. Yet.

There’s time even now to change your priorities. Drop the bat. Get out of the Racket. And just say Cheers.

Also, please check when those kebabs that you ordered are going to be delivered.