Oh, for God’s sake. Get your eyes off the TV Screens. I have something important to discuss.

Yes, yes. I know it’s the India – Pakistan Match. And you’re keen to watch.

22 imbeciles throwing accusations at each other. 2 of them trying to block them. And running between the wickets with joy whenever they manage to deflect even one of them. Pointless I tell you. Pointless.

Now what I have to discuss with you is an important point. And I have been holding on for too long now. I’m not getting any younger you know.

But guys, what I am about to say is strictly confidential, understand. I don’t want anyone to comment about me becoming senile or making fun of my senior sentiments. Now. Or later.

In the last lap of my life I have a request. No, no, no...relax. I am not asking for anything impossible or even unreasonable.

You all know that I have been acknowledged as the single most influential force behind the British decision to give us our freedom, right?

Aaah, thank God, that is still an uncontested claim.

Well, I must say that I am quite happy with the way the Indians have treated me, in fact idolised me. Though I must admit that they lost the plot sometime back and I am in the danger of being declared as a Quotation that’s almost always out of relevant context.

But that’s okay. They have my statues, my photo frames, even movies where I have been immortalised. But it’s the other side I am disappointed with.

History has recognized that I am responsible for the creation of Independent India. What it has failed to do however, is to document the fact that by the same definition I am responsible for the creation of well, ‘Independent’ Pakistan.

I mean India and Pakistan were created by one act, right! So if I am the Father of the Nation in India, I have to be the Father of the Nation in Pakistan too.

Now can we please keep our personal differences aside and just agree to give me a new title...

Mahatma Gandhi. Father of Nations.

There. That wasn’t too difficult, was it?