Have you ever been hugged by a smile? Have you ever been dazzled by warmth?

A few weeks ago, a friend celebrated his birthday…and the smile was there.

A few days ago, while sipping chai, another friend spoke about the smile in passing.

A couple of hours after that he had the sad task of informing me that the smile was no more.

The circumstances were such that I was numbed into muted reaction. Much later at night, as I stumbled through mundane life steps…eating, drinking, checking mail, sleeping…I looked back at a lifetime of affection.

I can’t remember when and how the stage was set for the smile to enter my life. But it did and within moments there was a bond that had no perceivable beginning and no anticipated end.

A trip to Goa, to put up some plays…riding a rickety bus. Guzzling beers as soon as we crossed over from Prohibitive Andhra Pradesh into welcoming Karnataka. Counting the 720 empty bottles as we got down at the hotel that was sponsoring our stay. And in the bus, just a couple of families and a few women who had brought their kids along.

The smile too, came with an adorable son.

A mad few days. Strange escapades into forbidding discotheques. Drunken bouts of the funniest insanities. And oh yes, a few stage performances.

And then it was time to return.

Punctures by the yard. Breakdowns by the minutes. And then the final collapse near Raichur. But not before we discovered a forgotten stash of Old Monk Rum and sang our way to Mahboobnagar in a tractor-trailer. And then took a taxi to Hyderabad.

That was a journey that forged a bond. A bond that defined the width of the smile, the dazzle of the beam and the warmth of the hug. We were after all, friends who had travelled together with our dreams.

Over the years, the smile lit up many meetings and the hug squeezed in a lot of affection. Once we even bumped into each other professionally. Me in my brand consultant avataar and she in her ever smiling Architect/Designer persona.

Hard to believe that the smile will no longer be an added bonus at the next party. That the hug will no longer be an option.

Hard to believe that the waters claimed her in spite of the fact that she celebrated water with passion.

Hard to believe that she hugged an after-world and smiled at a future that did not include any of us.

RIP my friend. You are the lighthouse that will never shine again. And the shore that I will never have the fortune of ever re-visiting. But you will be a smile I’ll never forget. A smile that will forever light up the dark recesses of my memories.