I don’t know about you. But I am convinced that the Congress wipe out was due to a clear direction given by Rahul. “Listen guys…ever since Daddy was killed, my mom and I have been trying to tell you that we are not interested in politics, power or prime ministership. Even Priyanka Didi tried to tell you the same, except that Jijaji wanted to enjoy some perks for a while”.

“But did you listen? Did you allow us to go our own separate ways? No. The Congress Party needs you, you said. Without you we will be orphans, you said”.

“So what could we do? What could I do?

Manmohan Uncle and I planned the whole thing out. We decided that the poll strategy that we would together adopt was based on “Don’t say anything & Say anything dumb”.

“So the PM kept quiet and I put my foot into my mouth. It wasn’t easy I assure you. I mean try writing a line like…One morning, I woke up at night…and you’ll know what I mean. And my masterpiece to the milkmaids of Gujarat? That was sheer brilliance. Tell me which speech writer can come up with these kind of gems. I had to work hard for them”.

“Anyway now the elections are over. And our party has been decimated. It will take a long time and a lot of hard work to recover. I neither have the time, nor am I interested in rebuilding the party. Let the next generation do that. My mother and I have done enough. All we want to do now is to go home. Mom’s Olive Gardens in Sicily have always been her passion. And me and my Colombian girlfriend feel at home among the poppy seeds of Tuscany”.

“So please guys…can you just let us go? We don’t even want air fare. A boat is all that we need. Money, we have enough. And security, you’ll provide in any case. And just imagine, every year I can send you some nice olives for you to chomp on or float in your martinis. What say?”

“Mom…are you ready…”