Please note that I personally don’t know any of the characters in this story. Everything is based on pure hearsay and is being blogged into a lazy Sunday protest at the sheer idiocy of it all.

This morning’s paper carried a news item proclaiming that Rana Daggubati would be getting hitched to the bengal tigress Bipasha Basu. The fact that the news item was only covered by Deccan Chronicle was a source of comfort, spark as it did a hope that this was just loose talk. But then who can say? Today’s Economic Times announces that Air India has just decided to buy the beleagured Kingfisher Airlines. Will it? Is that even half true? Only tomorrow will tell.

And there lies the problem with the Rana Bipasha story. BTW, what’s with Bips’ obsession with stud muffins with four letter names? The problem is that I see this marriage (if it actually happens) affecting the common man in Hyderabad. But wait…no one ever wondered what the impact would be when the Bachan boy married a block of wood. Nor did we expect any changes in life when Saif dumped his ex and hitched onto the Kareena wagon which was running wild after Shahid Kapoor had dropped the reins in this relationship.

Well I think all these relationships, with all their complications, made no difference to the average Hyderabadi simply because no one was directly involved. But Rana and Bips?

Everyone knows that Suresh Babu’s son is a likely successor to the Daggubati throne and given Rana’s socially active background Bips is likely to emerge as the Queen Bee of the Page 3 circuit. Namrata and Amala have kind of aged out. NTR’s wife and the Allu Bride seem to be maintaining a low profile. Laxmi Manchu has left the winning spurt till too late and the Kamineni girl is hardly a match to the raw sex appeal of the rossogolla girl.

So imagine a few months from now, every second day there will be news items in relevant pages announcing that the Bips Skin display was held at such and such place, such and such inauguration, and so on.

Whatever will happen to the wannabe page threes? All their fake Guccis, their Burma Bazaar LVs and all their imitation watches will be put to rest. The dress sense of the socialite Hyderabadi will improve exponentially and the fat mamas who over the years have discovered a comfort level as far as their flapping waists and sagging breasts are concerned, will suddenly tuck all the adipose into hiding and restrict themselves to hosting private dos with no paparazzi at hand.

And then maybe a Malaika Arora will decide to relocate in Hyderabad and her clones will be featured over every MMTS train singing chaiyaahh chaiyaahh.

Arun Nair who was employed by Liz Hurley for a while may come here too. And offer his services as a sexual athlete to Suresh Kalmadi.

W’allah! The scenario is getting more frightening by the minute. Even knowing that the news item was perhaps part of DC’s annual display of a warped sense of humour doesn’t calm my nerves. Methinks we will have to mount a campaign to convince Angelina Jolie to migrate to Hyderabad…what say you